Sunday, September 03, 2006

Weekend Ennui

I feel an incredible sense of ennui during the weekend afternoons. Armed with too much free time I get restless. I either try to do some home improvement or bake. Usually baking wins out. It costs less financially, (though I pay more in regards to the waistline.) This weekend is no exception. After failing miserably at making Hong Kong style egg custards, (its ingredients were deceivingly simple), I tried to redeem myself with baking a second batch of mocha buttons. The second batch was good. No chocolate on top, half the baking time as last. Gobbled up in a matter of minutes while watching John Q.

Today was supposed to be another day in. Hurricane Ernesto passed by earlier than predicted and left us with a beautiful late summer day. As usual the boyfriend wants to stay in. He rationalized that we can go out tomorrow since it's Labor Day, (and is currently napping the rest of the afternoon away). I reluctantly gave in, only because I hadn't made any plans, thinking it would be another wet and windy day.

I don't know what is wrong with me, but I can't seem to totally relax and do nothing. My definition of being at home and relaxing means cleaning of some sort. Or some organizing. Or some type of handy furniture rearranging that will make me feel better about being at home.

While he was asleep, I've managed to bake two sour cream apple pies (because I had sour cream and apples left), and shred papers that needed shredding. I think I'll finally get to empty out the last two boxes of books that has been sitting in my office area since I've moved in. To be honest I would have preferred to find some adhesive ceiling hooks so I can finally hook up this hanging lamp on my side of the bed. (The boyfriend seems to think it's just fine that it's on my bedside table.)

Anyway, let me get started before he wakes up and stops me from my type of relaxation!

1 comment:

David said...

Strange but true. We tend to find that this spare time for relaxing evokes feelings of stress. Actually, I often fail to deal with this well. The instinct is to make oneself busy, to achieve something. There is often an element of guilt involved too, especially if you're self-employed or a worker from home. However, I think these moments give us a really great opportunity to go deeper. For one thing, it's a time to lie on the sofa (while the boyfriend's dozing on the bed), stare at the ceiling and wonder at the point of it all. I mean, it's a great time to speculate on the purpose of one's life. Some people can't take that. It's too intense. They prefer to busy themselves rather than face up to the quietness of life. But I think if you have a grain of metaphysical curiosity in yourself, then this is where you'll find it most nakedly exposed. If you want to plant the seed of insight, this is fertile ground. Just sitting and doing nothing raises all sorts of questions about who we are, where we're going and why all the frantic effort... And when you rise from your ten mintues (or two hours) of pondering and ceiling-gazing, you still find you have time to bake the dog, clean the lawn, mow the oven and shampoo some muffins. Or whatever floats your boat.